


Don't Do This To Me

by Cleodalecki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Castiel Has Panic Attacks, Crying, Crying Castiel, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Dean x Castiel - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Intense, Love, Loving Dean, M/M, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Self-Harming Castiel, Tears, castiel - Freeform, clueless Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:01:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5181263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleodalecki/pseuds/Cleodalecki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean was crying as he watched Castiel tremble in his arms and try to push him away. "Cas... baby it's me, please don't do this Cas..."<br/>Castiel just whimpered as he froze.<br/>"Cas... calm down, it's okay. You're having an panic attack..." Dean whispered trying to pry Castiel's froze arms away from his body so he could hold him.<br/>"No... no..." Cas shock his head and squeezed his eyes closed tighter.</p><p>NOTE: I ADDED A BIT MORE ON BECAUSE IT WAS JUST VERY TROUBLING!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Do This To Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> hiya guys  
> i just wanna say thanx for the prompt and i hope you enjoi  
> <3  
> i tried to make it as deep and full of feels as i could, so this happened...  
> thanks again for the prompt... and i apologize if its not the best cuz i never really wrote anything like this... but i tried my best and i hope it was something like you imagined  
> and i also added a song:  
> Guns N' Roses, Knockin' On Heaven's Door  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tmc8rJgxUI  
> (i no i used this song before... but honestly... its so perfect for this because i always listen to youtube shit while im typing)

Dean wasn't listening, he just wanted to yell at Sam to shut the fuck up. A look of hatred came into Dean's eyes as he glared at Sam. 

"So the hunt is about a town or 2 from the city." Sam sighed as he typed more shit into his laptop.

Castiel was wrapped in a blanket and sitting cross legged on the couch in the living room. He was trying to take a nap, but kept suddenly opening his eyes whenever there was a long sound. He would look at Dean, then to Sam and back to Dean, the hunter smiled sadly and Cas just blinked and after a moment, he would give a small smile back. 

Sam coughed getting his brother's attention. "Did you hear what I said Dean?" Dean rolled his eyes at his brother and shook his head. Sam was clueless. 

Castiel had fallen from Grace and it was haunting him, the hunter and ex-angel had been dating for almost 5 months now, it was hard to hide their relationship from him... but, then again... nobody really knew about them. So, in a way, it worked out from them and they fought whatever life would through at them. 

The hunter sighed heavily and leaned back on the chair he was sitting on and closed his eyes, all he wanted was to go to his restless boyfriend and hold him. But he was nervous Sam would hate him, so he just squeezed his eyes closed and just prayed that Cas would be okay until left for the library or whatever. 

"Cas," Sam called turning to face the ex-angel. And Castiel literally jumped at the sound of his name. "I think we found a hunt for tomorrow. You do to go?" 

Dean frowned. "Cas?" 

Castiel looked up, eyes blood-shot red and full of tears. "Dean...?" He whispered falling back onto the couch and covering his face in his hands and began to cry. 

Sam eyes grew large in confusion. 

"Cas?!" Dean asked again, still fighting the burning urge to run to him and hold him.

Castiel began rocking back and forth and Sam quickly got to his feet. "Dean! What the hell is going on?!"

Dean got to his feet as well and Castiel looked up at the brothers, fear written on his fact. "No... no, s-stay away from me!"

Dean's heart broke in half when he say how much fear was in his baby's beautiful blue eyes. "...Cas..." Although this happened alot in the past 2 weeks (the 2 weeks Casteil had been getting worse and worse from the fall), Dean never got used to it. "Cas, come back." Dean whispered and slowly and carefully made his way over to the ex-angel trembling on the couch. 

"Dean-" Sam grabbed his arm.

Dean just looked back to Sam, his eyes were full of fear, yet had bravery hidden in them. "Don't worry Sam... I've seen him like this before... just... could you-" 

Sam just quickly nodded and left the room heading to the front door.

Dean took a breath before going to the rest of the way to Cas and sitting beside him on the couch. "Hey baby, just breathe.''

Castiel shook his head and crawled away from the hunter "GET AWAY FROM ME!!" He screamed.

Dean's eyes began to fill with tears, but he didn't give up. "Cas... look at me." Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's shoulders, trying to tug him closer but the ex-angel fought back.

Castiel was trembling and leaning forward sobbing and his breathing picked up and it sounded like he was hyperventilating. 

"Cas..." Dean whispered into his hair, "baby just breathe... it's gonna be okay-"

Castiel fell onto his back in the corner of the couch and held his arms in front of his chest and shoulders, "N-no... please no..."

Dean's tears started to fall from his eyes and onto his cheeks, "Baby-"

Castiel screamed and his entire body froze and his breathing stopped completely...

"CAS!!" Dean screamed grabbing his cheeks "CAS BABY!! IT'S ME, I'M RIGHT HERE! I NEED YOU TO BREATHE... PLEASE!! CAS, I'M BEGGING YOU!" Dean's tears flowed faster. "JUST BREATHE!!"

Castiel's vision became red and he saw black dots forming and a pounding pain in his temple and mind. "D-"

Dean was terrified... his boyfriend was suffering from a major Anxiety Attack... and wasn't breathing. "Cas... p-please...' Dean begged and ran his fingers through Castiel thick sweaty black hair.

Slowly... very slowly, Castiel's lungs began to fill with air... he started to tremble again, but it was less fierce and he was breathing, but it was still off and rushed.

Dean quickly looked at him and blinked. "Baby..."

After a long time of Dean kissing his tears away, Castiel slowly sat up with Dean's help and his hand were still trembling and Dean saw. "It's okay Cas..." Dean whispered in his ear. "I'm here, we can get through this... together."

Castiel fell onto Dean's chest and the hunter quickly went to his room and got a clean loose t-shirt from his room and ran back to Cas on the couch. Dean took Cas's trenchcoat, over shirt, and button-up shirt for him and put the t-shirt on for his boyfriend.. and froze when he saw the ex-angel's wrists. "...Cas? W-what is this...?"

Casteil quickly pulled away and cried. "I-I... I'm sorry Dean..." He whispered, clearly exhausted from his Attack earlier. "s-sometimes... e-everything, is t-t-to much for me-''

Dean hated seeing the blade cuts on his angel's wrists, everything was to hard for him. "Baby, I don't want you to hurt yourself... I'm here for you... and I love you." Dean kissed his cheek. "We'll get through this..."

Castiel sighed deeply "It's addicting Dean."

Dean nodded. "...I know." He whispered and pulled up his sleeve... Cas gasped quietly seeing fading scars all along his wrists and half way up his forearms. "I know..." He pulled his sleeve down. "But I promise, we can get through this together...''

Castiel fell onto Dean in a crying mess and gripped onto his jacket and held it with his life. Dean sighed sadly kissing his boyfriend's ear and whispering "I love you baby..."

When his breathing went back to normal, Dean put his arms over Cas's knees and the other on the back of his shoulders. Dean picked in up and carried Cas to his bedroom and kicked the door closed and sat the ex-angel down on the bed and get a loose pair of sweats (knowing Cas likes to sleep fully clothed), and quietly asked permission before taking off the black slacks and pulling up the sweats to his waist. "Just get comfy angel... I just have to change." Dean smiled and kssed his forehead and stripped himself of his clothes then put on a pair of plaid p.j. pants.

When Dean laid down beside Cas, the ex-angel turned so the chests were rubbing together and noses touching. "Thank you Dean." He whispered and placed a gentle kiss on the hunter's lips.

Dean smiled and kissed him again before wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer. Castiel hid his face in Dean's neck and closed his eyes, he warmed his cold feet in between Dean's leg. The hunter closed his eyes and tossed the blanket over them and quietly hummed Knockin' Heavens Door for his angel.

Once the ex-angel was asleep, Dean fell silent and was now able to sleep knowing his angel wasn't in pain.

It was about... 2:00 in the morning when Sam decided to come back. He went to Dean's room and knockied on the door. "Dean, i need to talk to you." He whispered. When there was no answer, Sam quietly opened the door and froze when he saw his brother asleep with the ex-angel... Sam closed the door and smiled to himself closing his eyes. "...fuckin' knew it..." He chuckled and went to his own room.

**Author's Note:**

> ...thanks for reading guys...  
>  and... if any of you ever had an Anxiety Attack, and are reading this, im sorry because ive never had one, although i am suffering from severe depression, and to be honest i had to do some research ( -_-' ) for this fic and while i was writing it, i was watching Jacksepticeye play a game on YouTube called Anxiety Attacks.  
> and im very sorry if this is nothing like having an Anxiety Attack and i dont mean to... offend any of you  
> and, just thanks again for reading guys :) and stay safe my little robot killer bunnies  
> <3 <3  
> so.. i guess there's only 1 thing left to do...
> 
> AND IF YOU LIKED, PUNCH THE KUDOS BUTTON IN THE FACE... LIKE A BOSS!  
> AND... HIGH-FIVES ALL AROUND!  
> AND I'LL SEE ALL YOU DUDES, IN THE NEXT FANFIC!!


End file.
